


A Horrible Window of Opportunity

by fedaykin



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Comedy, Embarrassing Situations, Gratuitous use of the word 'apple', Inappropriate Use of Johnny Appleseed, Kylo is an idiot, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Profanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9965849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fedaykin/pseuds/fedaykin
Summary: It was a longer shift than normal and Kylo shuffled up the stairs to his apartment door. He was ready for food and a bed to pass out face first on... but... where are his keys? Did he leave them at work? No, he would have remembered them in his cubby and so that meant... they were in his apartment. Damnit. He just wanted to sleep.But wait! There was that wall around back! He could use it to climb into his open bathroom window! There's no way that could go wrong!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEN!

This was not his bathroom.

There was a real fabric shower curtain and liner instead of an old plastic one with questionable coloring at the bottom. There were floor rugs that matched the towels. The mirror was free of toothpaste splatter. The sink was clean with only an electric toothbrush and hand soap on the counter. And it smelled really nice, some kind of berry? He couldn’t see the label on the aerosol spray air freshener very well with the nightlight practically shining in his face. His bathroom didn't have a nightlight. 

Kylo thought he had counted the windows correctly but this was definitely not his bathroom. For a moment he stared in the mirror opposite himself, looking comically out of place. Uh oh, time to go. He started to slip his head back through the window, irritated at the tight fit. It had been pretty easy to push his head in but now his ears were getting caught on the frame. Kylo adjusted his precarious stance on the fence and brick cutouts of the wall and moved his hand up to push the window open a little wider.

Nothing happened.

Kylo pushed harder, ignoring the awful pain of the window digging into his fingers.

It didn’t even budge a millimeter. Oh shit.

Kylo sacrificed his hold on the wall to use both hands to shove at the window. It was a horrible angle and he couldn’t twist his head to help. Desperate fingers pushed at the top and bottom of the sliding glass, but nothing.

He was stuck. He was stuck. He was stuck!

He was stuck with his head in someone else’s bathroom window nearly twenty feet off the ground at 2 a.m. with one foot on a fence and the other in a diamond cutout hole made from a pattern in the bricks. He was going to go to jail. 

And he was stuck because of his giant ears. Of course. Genetics could burn in hell.

He needed to get out. Get out get out get out. It didn’t matter if he wounded himself, anything would be better than being stuck in a window. Not even his own window. One of his neighbors’ windows.

Which neighbor was this? Maybe they would have pity on him? This had to be the apartment below his and that meant-

Oh no, he couldn’t be stuck in Second Floor Hot Guy’s window, what deity had he pissed off? There’s no way he could possibly be this unlucky. Second Floor Hot Guy already hated him, always giving him dirty looks when they passed on the stairs. He didn’t know what he had done, especially since Second Floor Hot Guy was the one banging on the ceiling whenever Kylo was home. The guy was really into installing overhead lighting or something.

But if Second Floor Hot Guy found him like this? That perfect specimen with beautiful red hair, lean yet still Kylo’s height, with a sneer that Kylo could see paired with leather gloves and a riding crop? He’d only get a date with a restraining order. He’d have to move. And he liked his apartment. It was only a few blocks away from work.

Work! He would never live it down, but he could call someone. Phasma would be heading home about this time, she always worked until closing at the club. She would get an extra bonus and unruly drunks were more likely to agree to a pretty face telling them to get out. Nevermind that Phasma was head of security and could cave anyone’s face in with a single punch. Sometimes he even backed off from breaking up a fight because it was so pleasing watching a tall blonde in heels incapacitate men a head shorter than her.

He would get so much shit for this, having to call his own boss to rescue him from accidentally breaking into the wrong apartment, but his sex life was at stake. Potentially. And avoiding a criminal record would be nice. He did have some priorities. So desperate times means desperate measures.

It hurt, his ears had to be bleeding by now, but Kylo adjusted his weight to reach one arm slowly to his back pocket, carefully easing his phone out. It would be embarrassing, but he’d escape. His relief faded when he realized, how the fuck was he supposed to look at the screen? He needed two hands and his arms would have to be detached if he wanted to sneak the phone in over his head. Touchscreens were useless. If he still had a phone with buttons, he could send a text message blindfolded. But no. It was fucking useless.

Was this one of the phones that exploded? All he could do was hope his phone would take pity on him. Maybe the battery would go nuclear. He just needed to concentrate all his hate on the useless brick in his hand, maybe yell at it a bit. That would work.

But, wait. That _would_ work! Siri, his Guardian Angel, the Patron Saint of Saving His Ass, the Holy Spirit of Able to Call Phasma. Siri, his one true Savior! If he got out of this, he swore he would drive to the nearest Apple Store and preach the Terms and Conditions! Anything! He’d even praise iTunes!

He moved the phone up to the glass.

“ _Siri, call Phasma_ ,” Kylo whispered and held his breath.

Silence. Could Siri even hear him? He couldn’t exactly yell. He moved the phone closer, more over his head, letting it rest against his hair.

“ _Siri, call Phasma._ ”

Still nothing. He’d have to be louder and hope that Second Floor Hot Guy was a heavy sleeper. Assuming this was the same layout as his apartment, this bathroom was attached to the bedroom.

He swallowed. “Siri, call Phasma.”

“ **I’M SORRY. I DIDN’T CATCH THAT.** ”

Kylo jumped at the absurdly loud voice, banging his head on the top of the window and tugging painfully at his ears. His phone shifted at the sudden movement and it was cruel enough to smack his shoulder on its way down to the ground.

He wanted to cry. He just wanted to go home and eat and go to sleep. He wasn’t asking to win the lottery. Why had the voice been so loud? Who designs something like that? He was whispering so Siri should whisper too! With any luck, the ground had opened below him so Siri could go straight to Hell.

With a huff, Kylo resumed pushing against the window, trying to will it to slide. Just a centimeter. That’s all he’d need. He used every ounce of strength he had, his fingers locking into horrible positions, just trying to get the stupid glass to move.

His grip slipped and he whimpered quietly as the burning in his fingertips turned into a horrible thob. He had definitely broken a nail. That shit really did hurt.

But he had to keep trying. Again and again and again. Having to rest longer and longer between each push. Kylo no longer had any way of telling how long he’d been stuck. This was the worst day of his life. Nothing could be worse than this.

The door swung open and Second Floor Hot Guy walked into the bathroom, dragging his feet across the floor. Kylo didn’t even dare to breathe. He didn’t even want to look, fearing that his gaze would be felt, but he couldn’t help it. Second Floor Hot Guy was even hotter with his messy bedhead and oversized t-shirt and plaid boxers. A shoulder was nearly exposed! But then he shuffled to the toilet and lifted the lid. Oh no. Kylo closed his eyes.

He didn’t even know this guy’s name and now Kylo was stuck in the bathroom window having to listen to him piss. What circle of Hell was this? At least Second Floor Hot Guy hadn’t noticed him. He looked half asleep anyway.

The toilet flushed and Kylo sighed in relief, willing his heart to slow down. It was deafening to his ears. But now Second Floor Hot Guy was washing his hands. Underneath the panic, Kylo was arching a brow at all of this. Who flushes and washes their hands after taking a leak in the middle of the night? Go back to sleep!

He chanced a quick peek. It was the wrong choice.

Kylo couldn’t say what exactly had given him away, considering he was a disembodied head floating at the window in the shower, but the moment Kylo locked eyes with the guy in the mirror, he knew this was the end. He had so much to live for. He couldn’t remember what, but it was probably something noble.

“SHIT!” Kylo’s future court case screamed as he fell back against the wall. The guy had fantastic aim, though.

The soap dispenser caught him solidly on the nose and Kylo shouted in pain. He planted his hands on the wall of the building and pushed. More things hit him in the face.

“What the fuck?! Get out! Get out of my bathroom!”

This was the most they had ever spoken, Kylo realized. Fantastic.

Another object hit Kylo on his cheek, that was probably the electric toothbrush. “Stop it! I’m trying to get out!”

The room was quiet for a moment and Kylo cracked open an eye. Another bad idea to add to his list. The hiss of the aerosol can was his only warning before his entire existence became a smell.

It was apple. Kylo was never going to eat an apple again.

“Try harder!”

It burned. It was wet. It was like Johnny Appleseed jizzed on his face. The spray was in his eyes, in his mouth, in his lungs. Now he’d have to call Poison Control Center or something.

“Stop stop stop! I’m stuck okay?!” He was coughing, trying to spit out that horrible taste. “I need help!”

The can smacked his head with an echoing bang.

“Why are you in my bathroom?”

“It was an accident! I promise! I thought I had the right window!” Kylo slowly opened his burning eyes. Hot Guy was definitely pissed. Kylo couldn’t really blame him though, he had just watched the guy pee.

“What are you doing climbing through windows at three in the morning?” Kylo couldn’t believe how sexy that voice sounded when it was mad. Especially with that posh accent.

“I forgot my keys, I was just trying to go home, okay?”

“You live here?”

Well, that hurt more than Kylo wanted to admit. “Yeah, um, I’m in the apartment above yours…”

Through the apple haze, Kylo watched Hot Guy’s eyes narrow. “Oh. _You_.”

“Yeah, me. Now, can you help me get out? Or are you busy?” Kylo choked out, unable to feel his head anymore besides a constant throbbing.

Hot Guy just frowned at him. “Can’t you count? This is the second floor.”

“Yeah, I gathered that,” Kylo deadpanned. Hot Guy merely crossed his arms. “Look, this is the third window up from this side of the building, I forgot the basement was exposed.”

Finally, a tiny smirk was making its way onto Hot Guy’s face. Kylo was in love. Messy red hair, pajamas, _and a smile_? What did he have to do to see that every day? It was probably not this.

“How did you even get up here?”

“The retaining wall on the side of the building, I just had to stretch and put my foot in the bricks.”

Hot Guy did look a bit impressed. “You’re an idiot.” Okay, maybe he wasn’t impressed. “How long have you been stuck?”

“I have no idea, just _please_ , help me get out, I can’t feel my legs anymore!”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Really? I won’t be in your window! Isn’t that good enough?”

“True, but I could just leave you here for someone to discover in the morning. Maybe they’d call the fire department.” Hot Guy’s eyes were gleaming. “Or the local news. Your ass would become famous in the tri-state area after it’s shown on the evening news.”

Kylo hated how cruel Hot Guy was and how much it made him love him more. He had it bad. “Just shut up, I’ll do anything, just help me get out!” He had it very bad.

That beautiful and evil man smiled at him. “Anything, hm?”

Oh shit, that went straight to Kylo’s dick. But it wouldn’t do him much good if he never saw his dick again. “Anything.”

Hot Guy’s slender fingers rested on those bow lips, contemplating. In a few seconds, Kylo was fully prepared to become this man’s sex slave. But he stepped closer, to the edge of shower.

“I want you to stop whatever the fuck you are doing at 3 am.”

“What?” Kylo asked, surprised.

“You’ve kept me up too many nights with that racket. It sounds like you’re playing basketball with a bowling ball. And it’s the middle of the night.”

“You… just want me to be quieter?”

“Well, if it’s too difficult…” Hot Guy said and started to walk away.

“Wait! I just, I don’t know what I’m doing. I work late. At the Praxeum? Have you been there? The club down the way? I work security. So, I get home late and make some dinner and then go to bed. That’s it?”

“That’s it? I can hear your voice. I believe you’ve discovered every possible way to say ‘fuck’.”

“I’m just… It’s been a long day and I’m tired but I need to eat.”

Hot Guy narrowed his eyes, “So, you scream at your food?”

“No,” Kylo replied indignantly. “I just… get frustrated sometimes.”

“Frustrated? Something goes wrong and you throw the skillet?”

“Not every time!”

“Oh my god, learn some self-control, you child,” Hot Guy sneered. “Do you throw a tantrum every time you don’t get your way? Cooking isn’t hard.”

“Well, apparently it is!”

“Then you better learn if you want my help out of the window.”

“Right. Thanks. And so who’s gonna teach me to cook? You?”

“If it means I’ll get some sleep, then yes.”

Wait? Did Hot Guy just offer to help him cook? But that meant… spending more time together? This was supposed to be an inconvenience to Kylo. Like he’d have to clean the guy’s apartment or do his laundry or pay his rent for a month or just buy him some beer in compensation. How on Earth was this a bad deal for Kylo? The guy was a bit of an asshole, but he was a pretty asshole.

“Fine.” No going back now, the ball was in his court. Or two balls. In someone’s court. It didn’t matter, they just needed to keep playing this game.

“Fine.”

It was quiet for a moment before a twinge went up Kylo’s cramping leg. “Uh, can I get out of the window now?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry!” The overhead light turned on and Kylo winced. “Okay, so let me see how you’re stuck then.”

Kylo’s face was only a few inches from Hot Guy’s chest. He wished he could smell something besides Apple Agony. Gentle fingers started feeling around his head.

“It’s your…”

Kylo’s face grew red. “It’s my ears, I’m stuck by my ears.”

Hot Guy snorted. “And you’ve already tried opening the window more?”

“Gee, what a great idea! I never thought of that!”

The fingers retreated. “I can leave you here.” Damn, that voice was cold.

“No no no, I’m sorry! Yes, I’ve tried the window.”

“Hmm, well this window always did stick… Alright, I guess we could try to lubricate your head and just push?”

Oh no, did Hot Guy just say lubricate? “I’m fine with whatever you want to try.”

“Okay, um,” Hot Guy said, followed by the sound of a cap popping open. “I’m going to just pour some conditioner around your ears, is that okay?”

“Go for it.”

It was cool and soothing on his overheated ears, but still stung in a few places, probably all the places he’d damaged trying to get out. The fingers massaging it in was really nice, though. He felt more and more conditioner until it began to drip down his neck.

“Sorry, I’m just trying to be thorough.”

“It’s fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Are you ready to push off?”

Kylo exhaled hard. “Yes, okay,” and he placed his palms flat against the bricks and _pushed_.

His heart leapt into his throat when he felt his head squeak back just a tiny bit. He was going to get out! But his arms were so tired, he just needed a little extra push.

“Hey, help me. Just push,” Kylo gritted out. Tentative hands touched his forehead and then mouth, slowly starting to increase the pressure. Almost. Almost.

With a whooshing pop, he was free! It felt so perfect, it was amazing, his ears burned but that just told him they were still attached! He felt like he could fly.

But he couldn’t fly. And he definitely hadn’t thought this through.

Down, down, down he went, not even enough time to yell before he landed with a dull thump into the bushes.

“Ow, fuck…”

Distantly, Kylo heard a voice calling after him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…”

“Did you break anything?”

“Just my dignity.”

“I didn’t realize you even had any left.”

Wow, what a prick. Kylo loved him.

He rolled over with a groan, pulling himself from the leaves and twigs. Kylo was definitely a bit unsteady on his feet, but at least he was free. Sweet, sweet freedom. Delicately, he touched his fingers to his ears, pulling away goops of conditioner, and it still appeared white in the dim exterior lights. At least he wasn’t bleeding.

“I’ll meet you at the door.”

Kylo looked up at the evil window, but Hot Guy was gone. His brain needed to brain again. Okay. Front door. Kylo swayed for a moment before looking down. Hey, there was his phone! He gave it a disgusted look as he picked it up. Siri had failed him for the last time. Pocketing it, he stumbled up the hill to the front of the building, trying to remove as many leaves and handfuls of conditioner as he could. He’d been saved and he wasn’t going to jail. He was going to talk to Hot Guy. This was the greatest thing that had ever happened. Maybe he should buy a lotto ticket.

He barely had to wait a few seconds before he saw his Savior walk down the stairs and push open the security door to the building. He had changed into some lounge pants, apparently not wanting to go to the front door in his underwear. Disappointing but Kylo was immediately distracted by how much warmer it was inside, it felt wonderful. But first -

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Hot Guy frowned. “Just. Don’t ever do that again.”

Kylo laughed a bit sheepishly, “Don’t worry.”

They both turned towards the stairs, Hot Guy going up a few steps while Kylo sat heavily on the bottom step.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t have my keys, I’m just going to wait down here for a few hours until the Super gets here.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?”

Hot Guy laughed a bit sarcastically. “You have completely ruined my sleep yet again, and 10% of you has already been in my apartment for who knows how long so the other 90% of you may as well come up to my place and get a shower or something. You look and smell awful.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, by the way. I think I’m going to be allergic to apple from now on.”

“You deserved it. Now come on before you terrify someone.”

Kylo was too tired to argue, especially with Hot Guy. And now they were going to his apartment…

“I, uh, don’t know your name.”

“It’s Hux,” the guy said as he turned up the stairs.

“Hux,” Kylo copied as he followed, feeling the word in his mouth. “Really? Just Hux?” That rhymed with _way_ too many things.

“Just Hux. Maybe one day you’ll get to learn my first name.”

Holy shit, that sounded kinda hot. Kylo tried not to stammer in response. “I’m - I’m Kylo.”

They were at Hux’s door. “Nice to meet you,” Hux said and pushed the door open. It was a nice place. It was still the same layout as Kylo’s apartment, but it was definitely more cozy. It looked like the kind of place you’d want to hang out. Comfortable couch, a few bookshelves, a nice TV, it was all very inviting. Which was surprising considering Hux seemed to be a jerk.

“Well, Kylo, you know where the shower is, there’s a towel in the cabinet you can use.”

“Uh, thanks, I’ll be quick.”

He tried not to pry, but he couldn’t help but look around as he walked to the bathroom. Not too many personal effects, but Kylo didn’t really have them in his apartment either. It made it hard to figure out Hux’s interests, though. What could they talk about?

And then the bathroom suddenly looked weird from this angle. Still clean, very apple-y, and over there was the evil vice grip, looking like an innocent window, if not for the conditioner smeared on it.

Kylo closed the door and stripped down, grimacing at the mess he made on his shirt as he pulled it off. He never really imagined being naked in Hux’s apartment, at least, not before a date or something. Life was weird.

Kylo turned the water on, careful to make sure the shower curtains were where they needed to be: fabric outside, liner inside, like a hotel. Fancy. And this shower would feel so good, he’d had a long night on his feet and then he’d been trapped in a window for who knows how long. Kylo checked his phone sitting on the sink. An hour? And hour and a half? He felt like he’d been hit by a truck fresh from the orchard. He needed to relax.

He stepped into the shower and nearly smashed his face into the wall, his foot flying out from under him. He’d slipped on that damn aerosol can. Kylo picked it up and glared at the apple clipart on the label.

“Fuck you,” Kylo said and dropped it out the open window.

Finally at peace, Kylo lost himself in warm water and the crisp smell of regular soap. He’d never smelled anything so good. It was pure bliss. It stung his raw ears but he felt his face become something more like skin again. The conditioner was a pain to get out, but it just gave him more time to relax while the water beat down on his shoulders. But he couldn’t linger. The last thing he wanted was for Hux to think he’d taken a slightly-too-long shower. Quickly, he turned to towards the water, letting it spray hit his face. He willed his eyes to open, rinsing them of any excess apple poison. It hurt, but it was necessary.

He turned the water off and pulled back the curtain. He’d forgotten to pull out the towel, so Kylo dripped everywhere before he could find it. The rugs conveniently soaked up most of the water and Kylo contemplated buying some of his own. With the window still open, the mirror was mostly clear. Kylo pulled back his ears, checking behind them, very red but no cuts that he could see. But yikes, his eyes were bloodshot. They didn’t hurt too much, just a little dry feeling, but he looked like some kind of junkie. It was a miracle that he had the next few days off, he might be able to never tell a soul about this incident. Except for Hux.

Kylo dried his body and hair quickly before getting redressed. He passed on the shoes and socks, and since he’d be home shortly anyway, he left his underwear off. He carefully zipped up his jeans and examined his work shirt. It was a mess. It smelled terrible and there was conditioner all over it, he couldn’t put it back on. Maybe Hux would have an extra shirt. Bundling up his unworn clothes, he stepped out of the bathroom and cautiously wandered back to the living room. Hux had his back turned, looking at something on the kitchen counter. With deliberately heavy steps, Kylo shuffled a bit closer to signal his arrival.

Hux turned quickly, looking a bit surprised before his ears turned almost as red as Kylo’s injured ones. “Oh! Uhh…”

Kylo felt Hux’s eyes rake over his torso and he felt a bit embarrassed. He honestly hadn’t thought a thing about it, he roamed his apartment without a shirt the second he came home anyway, but perhaps this was a bit much.

“Uh, sorry,” Kylo tried to explain. “It’s just my shirt is covered in stuff, so I didn’t want to put it back on.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Hux said, biting his lip. He was almost looking off into space.

“Do you… have a spare shirt I could borrow?”

Hux’s eyes refocused, “Yes! I mean, probably, just let me go look.” Hux took a few steps before turning back to the counter and looking at Kylo. “I umm, heated up some of my leftover dinner, if that’s okay?”

Kylo was shocked. “Really?”

Hux shrugged, “Well, you said you would come home and eat dinner so I just spared us both the screaming match.”

“I’m fine, really, I don’t need anything.”

“I’ve already heated it up, so eat it or don’t. I’ll go find you a shirt.”

Hux stalked past him back to the bedroom and Kylo took a few steps forward. It smelled good. Some pasta dish with broccoli and sausage and - Kylo took a bit - roasted red pepper slices? It tasted fantastic, actually. Wow, he needed this.

Kylo dived into the plastic container, shoveling the food as fast as he could eat. This was so much better than when he tried cooking. Hux was some sort of culinary genius. Kylo didn’t even like broccoli but this was amazing. And it was infinitely better than the microwave dinners he would occasionally resort to… Kylo looked over his shoulder before starting to lick the bowl.

Finished, he put it in the sink, rinsing it out with a bit of water. Hux still wasn’t back yet but Kylo could hear him rummaging around in the bedroom. Idly, Kylo wandered through the living room, not entirely sure what to do with himself. Can he just sit down without a shirt on? Is there some kind of etiquette for half-naked people? Would Hux be offended by his bare back on the upholstery? He’d been trapped in the man’s window and yet the decision to sit down or not seemed to be the most awkward.

Thankfully, the sound of a door closing made Kylo whip around like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Maybe Hux could teach him how to bake cookies. Hux’s step faltered for a moment when they made eye contact, but soon he was shoving a bundle of white cotton at him. Kylo reached for it and saw a tiny smirk on Hux’s face.

“You’ve uh… got a little something…” Hux said, gesturing to his cheek.

Shit, that’s embarrassing, it was a tiny bit of broccoli and he wiped in on his jeans. “Uh. Thanks for the food. It was really good. I liked it.” Kylo was glad to know that his eloquence was just a terrible as usual. “And, thanks for the uh… shirt?” Kylo added, taking a better look at what he’d been handed. It was an old white tank top.

“Sorry, that’s about as large of a shirt I could find. And I figured with a smaller t-shirt, your arms probably wouldn’t fit.” Hux had made a motion like he was going to grab Kylo’s bicep but thought better of it. Hux’s eyes were definitely drinking him in. Shirtlessness = unintentional good idea. He could probably push it a bit more.

“It’s perfect,” Kylo said, using his most charming smile. With a touch more care, Kylo lifted his arms to expose his chest and stomach as he pulled the tank over his head, letting his triceps flex lightly, all while arching slightly towards Hux. He tugged on the bottom hem to straighten it; the tank was still a bit small, so the length was shortened just a bit to accommodate for the added girth. He looked good with the stripe of flesh at his hips exposed, the fine black hair dusting its way into his jeans. Kylo peeked up at Hux, who seemed similarly distracted by that exposed skin, his mouth slightly open. Hook, line, and sinker. Kylo cleared his throat.

Hux’s mildly irritated gaze flicked back up. Damn, this guy was hot and cold.

“So. Kylo,” Hux drawled, that accent playing with each syllable. “You have another four hours to go until the Supervisor arrives, assuming he’s on time.”

Kylo swallowed. When had Hux moved so close? “Yes?”

“And I assume you’d like to get off your feet, lay back, not have to do anymore work, am I right?”

He could only nod. Hux was going to kill him. Hux was so close, he could feel the heat of his body. Was it hot in here? Kylo was sweating.

“Somewhere soft and warm and finally _release_ all that tension, yes?”

More enthusiastic nodding. Was that Hux’s hand on his chest?

“Just feel... _good_?”

He was flatlining, he needed the defibrillator. Kylo leaned in, his arm slowly moving up, eager to finally touch this rude son of a -

The hand shoved him back. What?

“I’ll go get you a blanket for the couch.” That bastard was genuinely smiling as he turned and walked away. Kylo’s mind was blank and could only watch that tiny ass walk away. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to spank it or crawl on his knees and plead.

Fleece hitting his face brought him back to reality. “Thanks,” Kylo said, a small crack in his voice giving him away. He shuffled to the couch and tried to get comfortable. He mostly fit length-wise, but he was too broad for laying on his back, his whole arm was hanging off. He huffed as he shifted to his side, finally settling for a position. Hux was watching him, his finger on the light switch.

Darkness.

“Sweet dreams, Kylo.”

Kylo hoped not, that would be a stain he wouldn’t want to explain in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> The result of laughing at this story with GenHux: 
> 
> http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-38855685
> 
> before we made it Kylux and so I decided to put some words to the hilarity XD
> 
> \-----  
> Find me at my side blog [Huxplicit](http://huxplicit.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
